Coasting Doesn't Make Progress

So, today I started really digging in and planning for next year.  I know, I know...teachers have the summer off. Yeah, right.  Now that last year is really last year, next year is starting to become this year.  As I got into details of planning and projects and goals and such, I became really excited.  Next year is going to be quite a challenge.  That scares me, but aren't they all?  I mean, I've never seen a year that doesn't give you some time of challenge.  Sometimes the challenge is a new school or a new class (maybe the ONE CLASS you never wanted to teach), maybe it's a group of students you've heard the horror stories about or an administration that doesn't back you up (or worse). And sometimes, you don't know the scariest challenge until the year is already in full swing, and there's no time to prepare for it. You see, teachers can't be afraid of challenges.  It's what we do.  It's what we help our kids do every day.  Of course, we all dream of that elusive year we hear about where we're already prepared for everything thrown at us, and we can coast through the year. Then, we're often shocked when most years feel like our first year teaching again. When it comes down to it though, at least for me, I know deep inside I will never have a coasting year.  It's just not in me.  I mean, I get used to the whole teaching thing, and I definitely reuse things from year to year, but every student is different and every class is different.  So, even if I do finally teach the same thing several years in a row, I expect I will always reinvent the wheel to an extent.  

Why? 

Coasting Doesn't Make Progress.  

Yes, you roll forward, duh.  I know this, but you are limited in so many ways.  To really make progress, you have to pedal.  You have to not be afraid of the hills.  (And sometimes, when things get pretty tough, you may even have to walk your bike for a while.)  This is how you'll really make progress.  This is how PRs are broken.

So, yes, I'm already aware of one of the challenges for next year, and it's also one of my favorite things about next year, too. And a funny thing happened when I started my reading for one of the classes I'm taking this summer.  I started praying for my classes next year.  Not that I would survive the struggles or that it would be easier, but I started praying for my classes to be full of grace and love.  I prayed for my kiddos to see Christ in me.  This was such a blessing to me.  It sure didn't come from me.  This was a nice 2"x4" from the Holy Spirit.  I am so thankful that He intercedes for us.  Now, I will pray for them to understand the math and see God's glory in the framework of the world around us, that through learning math, they will see the patterns which will bring Him glory, and that in finding success, they will find confidence and see that He can do great things through them.  I'm just so thankful where it started. Yes, Lord, You're right.  May my classroom be a place of Your Grace and Your Love first!  Bless my students now and get them ready for the year ahead and the challenges they will face. This year is Yours.  Help me not to get lost in the day to day and forget this.

Me? I'll be fine.  I teach math; what's your super power?  (Seriously though.  My super Power is His infinite Power with me everyday.) I'll be fine because I know coasting doesn't make progress, and I'm ready to set PRs and break them!

From my reading: "For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light." Colossians 1:9-10

20 (or more) Questions

The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

It is not *just* that my students are practicing for Annie, Jr....it's one of my favorite musicals. And during rough times, I think of this song to remind me that no matter how yucky my life may feel, nothing in my little life is so horrible that will stop tomorrow...and well, usually things seem a little better when that inevitable tomorrow comes.

But lately...I've realized it goes so much further than that! Let me take you back a few steps... in the past year, I have been through some *interesting* events...from my car running me into a concrete wall (and being able to walk away), deaths of awesome people, some very hurtful conversations with people I trusted and I thought knew me, moving twice, discovering some health problems and trying to heal them, some very trying obstacles and accusations to a testing irregularity and dead calculator that not only caused tears but should've caused the scores to be cancelled and there's even more. In all of this...not only has the sun come out tomorrow, God has done some crazy amazing things! And in each and every one of these yucky circumstances, I was stripped of everything I could hold onto except Him  including/especially my control. (I do have an awesome family adn friends!) Each of these wild and wacky things...that normally don't all happen in just one year...truly has been training me to trust Him more and more. What choice did I have? :o)

As I spend more time with him, He shows me bits and pieces of reality that just blow me away. This is my miracle year. The fact that I am alive is a miracle...after the accident, yes....but it would be anyway. Life is a miracle. We just take it for granted because it is all around us. Each of those wild and wacky circumstances brought a miracle and showed His power in SUCH a mighty way! It is astounding to think about how much I have been blessed to witness and well, just receive....FAR beyond anything I could ever deserve. (But that's grace mixed with His glory for ya!)

Now, something else has happened...and I'm not really ready to talk about it....but it hurts...and it is not fair. (When were we promised fair?) But I was thinking about how it will take another miracle for, well, ANYthing to happen beyond this pain. I am not sure what I want to happen, and I surely don't feel there is anything within me that can make something happen. It will take an act of God for this to work out...just like all of the other miracles this year. And as I begin to wonder if there is a limit on miracles in a year for one person, how many little things will He just take care of in a way that is ONLY Him....because you have nothing left...your hands are tied, I realize- that is precisely the point. Nothing would ever happen without His intervention, His grace, and His glory.

...not even the sun coming out tomorrow.

What if...

What if the worst thing I ever did to you was to NOT tell you how wrong you really are? 

What if in being your friend, in loving you, in living life alongside of you, I was too caught up in not being pushy and not causing you more to deal with that I didn't tell you the truth? 

What if the "little" thing that we don't talk about is what would actually make your life different?

What if it isn't about what works for you? What if I really am right? And you are really wrong? 

Would it be that bad if that's the worst thing I ever did?
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This series of questions grew out of some people watching/listening, oddly enough with VERY different situations: trivial errors at work/perfectionism and ways you do things with the same end result, how you treat others/raise children, finding health and salvation itself. 

I was shocked, intrigued and honestly heart-broken that everything seems backwards. Is it really considered more important for me to prove I am right when someone just made a mistake than when you are harming yourself or someone else (even if you don't think you are). What if you are influencing a child in a way that will make their life harder? And wow...when Hell vs a loving God comes into play, it is the worst possible thing for someone to help a friend see the Truth.

Where did all of the absolutes go in this world? The scale is so backwards....who cares if you are right about the stuff that won't last? It is hard for me to watch you hurt yourself/others when I see that you are refusing to deal with the real issue. I am sorry that it offends you, but I still want you to know the Peace, Comfort and Hope that comes with a personal relationship with God. <3

As I mentioned, these questions came to mind with a trivial mistake where people were appalled that I found it so trivial and did not "prove" myself, but it made me ask myself, "when do I need to make sure people know when they are wrong?" Seems simple. 

That was the beginning.  As I observed so many other situations, I kept hearing the same things I had thought during my trivial situation. And my mind pondered the questions as people (including myself) avoided confronting people they care about...many times because they knew that the receiving party would not actually receive this truth.  I kept envisioning apologizing to friends after everything was said and done for withholding the secret to the situation. It is one thing to be confronted about not telling a friend that you knew they made a mistake, but what if they harmed themselves or had hurt someone else so much or...died or...went to Hell...and you said nothing. What if...

**It bothers me even more how many times I avoided typing things out during this blog. Sigh. I would try to skirt the issue even as much as it infuriates me...too worried to hurt someone's feelings or upset them to say what I know is true.