I will get through this big picture by focusing on one detail at a time!

Do you consider yourself more of a big picture person or a detail oriented person?

It's one of my favorite interview questions. I love that you can tell where people place importance by HOW they answer it. The way they answer (no matter what their answer is) usually conveys what they think is the "right" answer, and that tells you more about a person than anything.

I don't think I would say this in an interview, but I think the way I see it is a fractal. It's definitely a big picture, and I enjoy the big picture, but I'm very aware that it's made up of details, and I'm fascinated by the details. I love to zoom in on them, and see how they compare....but that's when I see that each detail IS also a big picture...made up up more details which are also big pictures (and so on). The reason I love the big picture is because of the details. I see the whole picture and the details at the same time.

And I think that is why I like the question. There are really 5 general answers (even though you're only offered 2). You can be big-picture type or detail-oriented and be oblivious to the other side, but you can also start with one and then switch to the other.

Oh well, anyways....I'm realizing a whole new world to this question, not just because of the endless interviews that we are doing as we find my replacement, but also because I have really been struggling with finishing strong. And the hardest part is that I don't even know what's going on. The task(s) at hand are very overwhelming. I always thought seeing both were ideal. I can see the big picture and I can see the details, but it's hard for me to for me to see how they connect....and without that I have NO picture.

So, I created a spreadsheet that gives me the big picture of projects that need to be done (color-coded by week) with every detail there. And every day I say to myself that I will get through this big picture by focusing on one detail at a time!

Fake It 'Til You Make It!

This is by far not my favorite phrase...I've always struggled with it, but I've seen it really work. My favorite example is a former roommate, who would get up an hour or two early on days that she was feeling sick. She would put curlers in her hair, put full make up on and wear a great outfit. She said that this got her through the day. When she felt like crawling under a rock, she compensated with her presentation and appearance so that she would carry herself in a way throughout the day that others would not know that she was "feeling" like half of herself. She faked the other half until she could make it back to being herself. It was amazing! She functioned sometimes at a HIGHER level on those blah days!

I think part of me has struggled with how that fits into a life reaching for living a transparent and genuine life. My friend is a very genuine person and truly found strength of spirit and in reality a way of being herself MORE through the actions. But maybe what the magic of it really is that the wording misrepresents what really is striving towards a goal. It's not really fake if you are simply letting God's grace carry you without HOLDING BACK His glory that is shining through you. You see, it's not that you are faking anything...you may FEEL like you are faking it, but you are just recognizing that you really are human and really are empty...but that you don't have to let that be your whole story. One of the perks of being a disciple is that God rewrites our story...not just for eternity, but the day to day story as well....even the days that we really don't wanna exist. So, go ahead, wake up a little earlier, dress a little nicer and most definitely hold that head a little higher. Even if you aren't feeling up to it, God is...and He will take care of today...and every other day.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

Last week, I went to Charlotte for interviews and planning. I had it all figured out--all of my i's were dotted and t's crossed. So, when everyone else wasn't following the plan, I became frustrated and scared. My plans were falling down around me. Only one school interview? The district wasn't following up? The neighborhoods were sketchy at best? The apartment complexes left much to be desired? What was I supposed to do? How could I figure this out? Finally, on Friday night (later than I'd like to admit), I broke down. I couldn't get this figured out, much less before I left to come back to Chicago on Saturday. So, I prayed for God to rescue me. I felt like it was a last resort and I definitely was ready for a last resort.

God's response? Well, He chuckled and replied that He was already taking care of it. While I was playing like I was doing ANYthing, He was laying the plans and lining things up already.

What a great feeling! God is already many steps ahead of me. It's not that I don't need to plan, but I do need to just TRUST!! Silly me, thinking this was MY thing. :o) Hopefully one day this repeated lesson will stick- that when God gives you an assignment, He doesn't expect for YOU to do it. I can do nothing without Him. The whole point is to JOIN HIM where He is already at work--His empty vessel, with the accent on EMPTY!

All that to say that I am now a part of the teaching team at the School of Math, Engineering, Technology and Sciences at Olympic High School in Charlotte, North Carolina! More details to come---in His time, in His time....

Just the Facts....so far

This blog is getting more and more scattered, but I guess it's representive of my life right now. It'll be neat to see if the blog finds focus....lol. I guess I've also had trouble being as present with blogging which also makes sense. Well, anyways, I continue...

About 3 years ago (Jan/Feb), I realized during my devotional time that God was starting me on a transitional time that would last about 5 years (maybe the timeline was more me than God) :o) So, since then, I've been through so many changes since then that I can't begin to detail out the journey. Factually speaking, I quit teaching to be able to step back and think more about what I'm really doing. At Cornerstone Academy, I was so involved with the everyday, that I could've easily kept it up forever (and enjoyed it and been working in some facet of God's will), but I felt a tugging to really analyze my life (since I never analyze things!). So, I started working across the hall (I missed the kids!) at Cornerstone Counseling Center of Chicago. It was a great place in so many ways. I mean, the kids come by and visit (as opposed to interrupting), I work with some of the coolest/greatest/neatest people in the world, I work at a truly God-led organization really working to help the community and I've learned so much about myself, how I work, how I deal with things. It's been a crucial part of healing for me from so much of what I've been through here in Chicago.

A little less than a year ago, I realized that another step in the journey would be actually leaving Chicago (another place I could easily stay the rest of my life and be perfectly happy). Well, it took several months for God and I to really hash this decision out, but once I accepted it, I knew it was right. But, then what....when you leave the place that you've been your WHOLE ENTIRE ADULT LIFE, where do you go? And if I leave Chicago after being so hurt, messing so much up, and not finding resolution to about ANY of it....does it mean that I failed? Or I'm giving up? There was so much there for me, and I wanted to "figure it all out", but finally I bit the bullet. I accepted the assignment, and I have been TRULY amazed. I've been finding resolution so quickly that I can barely process it.

So, with all of that, I am moving to Charlotte, NC in July of this year to go back to teaching. I will be heading down there tomorrow to visit schools and attend their job fair. I have an open contract but will be getting my actual school assignment VERY SOON!

The other exciting thing is that I probably have a dog. My mom just had a puppy, a little girl, that I will probably be getting as my dog when I move. I've wanted a dog for several years, so this is a perfect part of the transition for me!

Well, I have tons that I need to post, so hopefully I'll do that soon and keep you updated on all the changes!